Not What I Expected

Since this is usually my one chance a week to write a post I had thought of all the deep topics I was going to cover, but instead right now my heart is attuned to my little boy who went to bed early with a terrible headache. He is 5 and gets them on a regular basis. They remind me of migraines I have gotten where you get sick to your stomach and then need to go sleep in a dark room until the pain passes. It is so hard to watch him wail in pain and for me not be able to do anything to take it away. I cry in my heart as I am holding him and stroking his head, praying for God to give him peace and to take the pain away. As much as it crushes my heart to see my little boy like this, I have to believe that God, who loves us infinitely more than we know, must feel the same way when we are hurting. I like to imagine the thought of him holding me in his arms and stroking my head to comfort me in the same way as I comfort my son.

The upside to the evening, some faith friends happened to be at our home to pray for him which was a real blessing, and as I held him I got a chance to ask Jesus for some guidance and wisdom on what I can do to help prevent him from having these in the future. It is hard to imagine where I would be without my loving Father, his Son and the Holy Spirit. My heart rejoices as I write this and think about how they have transformed and continue to transform my life.

He is delighted with me !?

"He is delighted with you!" My husband and I both looked at each other dumbfounded. The voice on the other end of the phone couldn't be speaking about us. Our friend Sage continued, "it's true, he delights in you and that you are putting him first in your household." I pondered these words all day long. They couldn't have come at a more appropriate time. Just before the call I had been contemplating my many failures as a wife, mother and employee. I had visions of what I should be doing in each of these roles, but in my eyes I was falling way short in every area. Is it really possible that God could love me just as I am and even more so delight in me? The thought was almost not comprehendible. Then, as if on cue, God answered my question. The following day as I was listening to an audio book, the author's voice spoke out, "Don't you know that God delights in you? He rejoices over you." Then he read Zephaniah 3:17 which says, "The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One, will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing. " There it was in black and white, no way for me to escape this awesome truth (as if I should want to). This revelation of God as not some distant authority figure but as a loving Father has made me yearn to know Him better. I long to commune with him as I can with my closest friends. I must say that this is quite an exciting and unexpected part of my journey. However, it is one I am very grateful for. :)